While we cross all of these alligator filled moats that make up the path of life we get a little damaged along the way. I doubt anyone wants to openly admit that. I doubt that someone who goes through an awful gut wrenching divorce now wants to turn and say to the public, "Yes, I am beyond fucked up, want to be friends?" My response, "Get your shit straight and then call me." I know, I am less kind in these sorts of situations. But in my own experience I found an alarmingly large amount of people turned their back on me in my darkest hour. Not only did they actually turn away...but they just assumed I would be fine.
I was bursting at the seams and found myself in a million pieces scattered across the universe. But to 'those people', I was doing just fine. I guess the even more bizarre part of this story is that those same people turned their back on my children. I mean sure, who cares about the man I walked away from, but to not call the kids and check up on them, now that is cold hearted.
I have to learn to let 'stuff' roll off of my back. And my older girlfriends are always telling me not to worry that as I age I will feel less strongly about my convictions...ummm ok.....it's not working and I'm definitely getting older.
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It was late at night and I had spent the 4th consecutive week on a friend's couch, with his girlfriend hovering over me and watching everything I did. It was clear she was unaware of the length of my stay, even though it had been discussed. They were in the bedroom and I decided to call my husband [yes, he was still my husband - even though I filed divorce papers prior to moving out of the State] and have a quick chat about the kids. The chat turned into a conversation which lead to a full on discussion about my return. It was easier than I had imagined, there was no fight. I heard this sad broken voice saying I could come back. [By the way, that sad voice was me.] That was it. Done deal. A week later I packed up and went back.
More to come......
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